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Minimal simple exercise to lose the pounds

I am clearly not the person to give advise. I cannot tell you what to do but I'll tell you what I did. Here's a back story. I had birth my children when I was still young. I was skinny and it made me conscious because I don't look like a mother instead I look like an older sister to my children- and it's not flattering. Teachers, Social workers and Doctors doesn't seemed to trust my own children with me because I look like a kid myself. So I piled on weight. At the same time my divorce was finalized and I was free. I was also started on medication. After a few months I had gained 20 kg and I became overweight. I intended for a little weight gain but not being obese. I look at the mirror and I was devastated. Over the years, in my twenties I battled weight gained and depleting confidence. Then the pandemic came. It was during the fasting month of Ramadhan that I started working out after breaking my fast. I lost only two kilos. Then when the lock down was slowly redu...
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I'm not lonely being alone


Being alone is a privilege to me.
I had a family. I am a mother.
Child caring was stopped short
as custody order was decided.

It felt like motherhood had been 
stolen from me.
I was grieving my lost.
I felt guilty, more than anything.

I named my children myself.
But I call them Faith and Hope.
That's what they meant to me.

I let go of many pleasures.
I deprived myself because of guilt.

Slowly my children grew up.
I cannot wait for them to 
come back home on weekends.
They got busy.
I was heartbroken.

When I took my first long walk.
It was sheer determination.
I walked away- from everything.

My walk took me to neighbourhoods
that I grew up in.
I walked to the neighbourhood that
gave me my first love.
I walked to places where I used to
hang out.
I walked to my first few jobs, places
that I'm so attached to my sense
of belonging.

I even walked to my mother-in-law's 
hoping to catch a glimpse of
my children.

On my walk home, I instilled a lot
of determination.
I have to have courage.
I cannot despair.

I refuse to play the blaming game
anymore. I decided to be happy.

Looking back,
solitude gave me a lot of time.
I worked on my Diploma.
I took an English teaching course.
I took a Reiki Master course.
I took Hijama course.
I took videography and editing.

I worked on me.
I no longer feel like I have to 
tell people what I am doing.
I don't need my children or mother
to say they are proud of me.

I have the luxury of time.
It fulfills my curiosity for life.
I love life now.

I should thank my ex-husband 
and his wife for babysitting or
rather nurturing and taking
over my responsibilities.

I had a friend, always asking me
"Aren't you bored?"
"You live alone, you must be lonely!"
I wanted to laugh.
Because I wasn't.

I get to pace myself with life.
I get to slow down.
I'm always practicing what
I've learned.
There's no boredom in wandering 
and wondering life and nature.

She asked me as if she wants to 
insult me for being alone.
Well, if that's what she's afraid of?

I'm passed that phase.
I felt it. And I let go.
I had my ultimatum to myself.

And I only meet people WHEN I 
decide to..I'd like to spare myself 
from gossip AND drama.
Wasted head space!

I learned, you don't have to be rich, 
just don't feel burdened.

I learned, sometimes you're not 
striving for happiness but rather
just a calm life.


~To be or not to be,
To become is to suffice.~
@chirpbirdee







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