ChirpBirdee

I lost my voice. I can't say what I truly felt. I hate the curtains. I hated the bed. They're free. Provided for us. But I can't say - I lost my voice. I lost my voice. I hated cooking. I hate making chicken dishes. It's all about what you want to eat. I have no choice - I lost my voice. I want a job. I want my own money. I can't be cooped up at home. I'm desperate to go out. I lost hope - I lost my voice. I love my kids. I love to play with them. I love reading to them. But I'm tired too. Can't grandma help? There's too much to do. Where is daddy? It's just too much - I lost my voice. Why are my friends quiet? We haven't been in touch. Oh, I lost my touch. I don't wear mini skirts anymore. And I don't wear make up. Is that why I'm judge? And you have friends as such? I'm lonely - I lost my voice. ~You are never the same person at each stage of your life. You evolve, like a butterfly...now fly high~ @chirpbirdee Pi...

I know this is such a hard time, and it can feel overwhelming trying to figure out how best to show your love and care. But sometimes, it's the simplest things that make the biggest difference. One of the most important things you can do is just be there. Your presence alone is comforting. You don’t have to say much—just sitting quietly with them can bring a lot of peace. Listening is another powerful way to show love. Let them talk about whatever’s on their mind, whether it’s memories, feelings, or even fears. Sometimes, being heard is the greatest gift we can give. Physical connection matters too, if they’re okay with it. Holding their hand or giving a gentle hug can be incredibly soothing. It reminds them they’re not alone in this.  And don’t forget to share memories.  Talking about good times you’ve had together can bring a smile, even in hard moments. It’s a reminder of the love and the life you’ve shared. If you can, try to surround them with personal items t...

Fostering positivity and encouraging yourself to do things that make you happy can be a gradual process, but it’s definitely achievable. Here are some steps and activities that can help: 1. Create a Self-Care Routine Building regular habits that nurture your well-being is key. This doesn’t have to be complicated: Morning Routine: Start your day with something uplifting like stretching, listening to calming music, or reading something inspiring. Evening Routine: Wind down with a gratitude practice, writing down three things you're thankful for, or something that went well that day, no matter how small. 2. Celebrate Small Wins Sometimes we overlook the small accomplishments that can build our confidence. Make it a habit to acknowledge the small things you do each day, like completing a task, getting outside, or even making time for yourself. These are all steps forward. Positive Reinforcement: Each time you do something that brings you joy or relaxation, tell yourself, ...

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, but I think it's great that you're seeking ways to lift yourself up. Here's an approach to self-talk that could help: Acknowledge Your Feelings "I know I’m feeling really low right now, and that's okay. It’s normal to have difficult days, and it’s important to honor how I feel." Challenge Negative Thoughts "I’m noticing a lot of negative thoughts swirling around. These thoughts don’t define me. They’re temporary, and I have the power to shift my focus toward something more positive." Remind Yourself of Your Strengths "I’ve been through hard times before and have come out stronger. I have the strength within me to get through this, even if I can’t feel it fully right now." Focus on Small Wins "Today, I can take one small step toward feeling better. Maybe that’s going for a short walk, drinking a glass of water, or taking a deep breath. Each small step is progress." Be Ki...

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional, mental, and physical well-being.  Here are 10 types of boundaries you should consider having with others: Emotional Boundaries: Protect your emotional energy by limiting how much you share or absorb from others. Don’t allow others to guilt or manipulate you into feeling responsible for their emotions. Physical Boundaries: Define your comfort levels regarding physical touch and personal space. You have the right to say no to unwanted physical contact. Time Boundaries: Value your time by setting limits on how much you give to others, whether at work, with friends, or in relationships. It's okay to decline requests if it encroaches on your personal time. Mental Boundaries: Protect your beliefs, thoughts, and opinions. You don’t have to agree with others or be pressured into thinking the way they do. Mental boundaries also include protecting your mental health from toxic conversations or influences. Material...

I'm getting older. And I'm not my children's primary caregiver or parent. Should I fall sick long term, I still want to remain independent in many ways. I don't want my kids to feel burdened. I know they are reluctant to care for me because I'm an absent parent mostly. I can call for a housekeeper that charge by the hour to clean my house. That's probably going to be once weekly. But necessary daily chores like cooking and laundry needs to be simple and easier. I can depend on the machine for laundry. And I can always use the slow cooker. The only worry I have is not being able to clean myself on my own, or go having to depend on others because of immobility. And living on assistance of others financially and physically is not something I can accept easily. So I am now very picky. I only wear specific type of clothes. It has to be feminine yet evergreen in design, fits my body type, easy to clean, quick to dry and  comfy in the hot weather climate  o...

Traumas are different and unique to each individual. You have to reflect on what your triggers are. Only then you can narrow down on why you have these triggers. When you know the what and understand the why, you can link it back to past memories, situations and events that leads to the trauma. Remembering and listing down the exact trauma is  difficult and requires a lot of patience dealing with emotions. But truly, by doing these steps, you are not reliving the past  rather you are confronting your very fears. It requires putting your emotions into perspective. It is an act of courage and bravery in itself. If you are able to remember how it feels like during the difficult times, surely you have put up a high defence wall in order to cope. Trust the process and healing takes time. Once you understood what causes the pain, you can take steps in preventing yourself from similar situations in the future. This will allow you to detach yourself from circling in the sa...

Happiness is a choice. You are in control of how you feel. You can decide to stop feeling  like shit. You get to decide who and what  makes you happy. Accepting everything for what it is. If you planned something, you want it to go your way and how you envisioned it. Sometimes accepting a little setback  or a little hardship, will help lower the stress, anxiety and anger. Lowering expectations of the  actual experiences, will help you enjoy the experiences more. It goes the same for people. If you come into any relationship and not have a certain or high expectations, you'll come to accept that they are who and what they are. Control and chaos. You cannot control everything. And you have to put chaos into perspective. Managing to balance control and chaos is a never ending battle. Choose to have peace. Live in perfect control over what you can and leave chaos to run it's course But leave it, really.  Unconditional love. Everyone place a set of condit...

You know when husbands have their boys day out. They'll say we're going fishing, a boat trip overseas. Or something like that. Wives or moms never have respite care privileges. I had been a part of a few "Silent Dance Mom" parties. It's when the husbands  go out and the kids goes to grandma's. It's always karaoke, btw. Or barbeque at the chalet. Sometimes, clubbing or drinking at the hotel. As a single mom, I never encourage gal pals to cheat on husbands. Once these parties go astray, I'll just walk out. Maybe a dance or a  full Monty show. But never sleep with any other man. Sometimes, we'll do something crazy. We'll go drinking at a local hotel. Book midnight tickets to Bali or  evening ferry to Batam. Go shopping tomorrow afternoon. Take an evening flight/ ferry back. Grab a taxi home and pretend  nothing happened. No pictures, no videos. If there are then it's no longer a secret right? Why do this? Why not? Do you know how l...

Today, I set out on my own date. I reflected on myself. I confronted myself. Now that I am calm. Now that I have settled. I know exactly and precisely how much I need. There's no excuse for not having enough. No more borrowing now, and pay back later. No more exceeding budgets. No more pleading for pity. I used to hate having less. Then I had more. Then more is not enough. I didn't know where I got it wrong. It's within my control. I scrutinized everything. If there's no use, there's no need. If there's a need, it must serve it's purpose. I used to blame having a tight budget. Not having enough. Inflation, I said. And all the other excuses I justified with. No more. I am my own parent, now. I have to woman up. No more blaming games. No more throwing excuses. No more excess baggages. No more paying for people. No more nice woman. No more, Yes Ma'am. No more, Yes Sir. Every cent had to be accounted for. I have to know where every dollar went. A...

I am a mom but I'm not a parent. I had the empty nest syndrome  many years back. I was a housewife. I'm no longer a wife. So I'm now a homebody. I cook but I'm not a chef. Even if it's made of instant  gravy paste with recipes  crafted by a chef. I'm a student but I'm not a youth. I'm a late learner. Everyone has opportunities at different times in life. I'm dating but I don't have  the intention of marrying. I haven't met someone who will compromise when I have issues. Some women carve out their lives  to be perfect wives and mothers, or either one, depending on situations. Some women pride in their jobs because it's lasting impact on societies and communities. Nobody will remember you as that good cook during family dinners. But people will remember the woman who brings the company million dollars ventures. I can't relate to neither of these. All my childhood memories are of me being sick with fever, sometimes twice  a m...

A space like this makes me smile. It reminds me of the bridal dais. Do I wish to marry? Was I worried about being alone? Do I need someone to care for me? Am I happy? But.... Why do I need someone around? Why do I need to care for someone's  laundry, meals, cleanliness? Wouldn't it burden me more if there's two of us? Can I be happy on my own? Yes. I'm perfectly fine. I'm not against people remarrying. I'm happy for those who do. I just don't understand - How people remarry more than twice. What are they looking for? Some help around the house? Company in bed? A best friend? A confidant? Well, these are what I'm  looking for too... But it doesn't have to be in a bundled packaged of one. These can be different people. An all rounder will break me if should he leaves. Too dependent. Too needy. That's what I am. What I was. I stop looking for these people  to fill my life anymore. I don't want to be a people pleaser. I don't want...

Being alone is a privilege to me. I had a family. I am a mother. Child caring was stopped short as custody order was decided. It felt like motherhood had been  stolen from me. I was grieving my lost. I felt guilty, more than anything. I named my children myself. But I call them Faith and Hope. That's what they meant to me. I let go of many pleasures. I deprived myself because of guilt. Slowly my children grew up. I cannot wait for them to  come back home on weekends. They got busy. I was heartbroken. When I took my first long walk. It was sheer determination. I walked away- from everything. My walk took me to neighbourhoods that I grew up in. I walked to the neighbourhood that gave me my first love. I walked to places where I used to hang out. I walked to my first few jobs, places that I'm so attached to my sense of belonging. I even walked to my mother-in-law's  hoping to catch a glimpse of my children. On my walk home, I instilled a lot of determination. I h...

I get hungry all the time. When I started my walks, I curb my eating. From three meals to two meals. I tweaked my breakfast. Oats and fruits. Then just fruits. And then just coffee. That's my one meal. Plus the other evening meal. My evening meal is huge. It's one and half cup of rice. And Malay gravy- Usually chicken or meat. And some veggies. I hate veggies actually. I wanted to meal plan. But meal prepping doesn't work. If I am hospitalized, all the food goes bad. So wasted. During COVID-19, I had to ask for free meals from FFFA. They gave RTE meals, in retort packaging. The food lasted for months according to my meal schedule. Even when I was hospitalized  twice during the period. I came home fully stocked up. Wonderful, I thought. So now, I buy a lot of RTE food. All of them Halal Malay gravy. They are so delicious. I know many will say, it's unhealthy. It depends how much you have daily or weekly. It's fine for me. No preservatives. Not salty. Tast...