I am clearly not the person to give advise. I cannot tell you what to do but I'll tell you what I did. Here's a back story. I had birth my children when I was still young. I was skinny and it made me conscious because I don't look like a mother instead I look like an older sister to my children- and it's not flattering. Teachers, Social workers and Doctors doesn't seemed to trust my own children with me because I look like a kid myself. So I piled on weight. At the same time my divorce was finalized and I was free. I was also started on medication. After a few months I had gained 20 kg and I became overweight. I intended for a little weight gain but not being obese. I look at the mirror and I was devastated. Over the years, in my twenties I battled weight gained and depleting confidence. Then the pandemic came. It was during the fasting month of Ramadhan that I started working out after breaking my fast. I lost only two kilos. Then when the lock down was slowly redu...
I know this is such a hard time, and it can feel overwhelming trying to figure out how best to show your love and care. But sometimes, it's the simplest things that make the biggest difference.
One of the most important things you can do is just be there. Your presence alone is comforting. You don’t have to say much—just sitting quietly with them can bring a lot of peace.
Listening is another powerful way to show love. Let them talk about whatever’s on their mind, whether it’s memories, feelings, or even fears. Sometimes, being heard is the greatest gift we can give.
Physical connection matters too, if they’re okay with it. Holding their hand or giving a gentle hug can be incredibly soothing. It reminds them they’re not alone in this.
And don’t forget to share memories.
Talking about good times you’ve had together can bring a smile, even in hard moments. It’s a reminder of the love and the life you’ve shared.
If you can, try to surround them with personal items that make them feel at home. Whether it’s a favorite blanket, family photos, or something meaningful, these items can provide comfort.
Above all, be sure to respect their wishes.
Let them guide how they want to spend this time—whether it’s talking, resting, or something else. Honoring their choices is a profound way to show respect and love.
Offer them gentle reassurance. Sometimes, just hearing the words ‘I’m here for you’ or ‘You are loved’ can mean the world when someone is feeling vulnerable.
If they love books or music, offer to read to them or play their favorite songs. Music, especially, can bring peace and stir beautiful memories.
Helping with small, simple comforts—like adjusting their pillows or offering a sip of water—can also make a big difference. It’s those little acts of care that remind them they’re cherished.
And try to stay calm and positive around them. Your peace can become their peace. Sometimes, just being steady and soft in your words and actions is enough.
Creating a peaceful environment is also important. Light a candle, dim the lights, or play soothing sounds. You can help them feel more relaxed and at ease.
Don’t forget to tell them how much they mean to you. Express your gratitude for the ways they’ve touched your life. Sometimes, hearing those words can be incredibly healing for both of you.
And finally, if they have loved ones around, support them too. Offer a listening ear or help with tasks. Everyone needs comfort during times like this.
Remember, it’s not about saying or doing everything perfectly. It’s about being present, offering your heart, and showing them that they’re surrounded by love, now more than ever.
Here are examples of how you could incorporate each of the 13 ways into conversations when showing love and affection to a dying person:
1. Be Present
"I just want you to know that I'm here. We don’t have to talk if you don’t feel like it, but I’m right here with you."
2. Listen Actively
"Is there anything on your mind you want to talk about? I’m here to listen to whatever you’d like to share."
3. Offer Physical Comfort
"Would you like me to hold your hand for a while? I’m happy to stay right here beside you."
4. Share Memories
"Remember that trip we took to the beach? You were so happy that day, we laughed so much. I’ll never forget that."
5. Bring Personal Items
"I brought this photo album we made together. I thought you might like to look through it with me. These moments mean so much."
6. Respect Their Wishes
"If there’s anything you want, or anything I can do to make you more comfortable, just let me know. Whatever you need."
7. Provide Reassurance
"You are so loved, and I’m here for you. You don’t have to worry about anything. We’re all here, taking care of things."
8. Read or Play Music
"I know how much you love this book. Would you like me to read a few pages to you? Or we could play that song you used to love."
9. Assist with Small Comforts
"Let me fix your pillow for you. Is that better? Can I get you some water or adjust the blanket for you?"
10. Stay Calm and Positive
"We’re taking everything one step at a time, and it’s okay. There’s no rush. I’m right here with you, and everything will be okay."
11. Create a Peaceful Environment
"How about I light a candle and dim the lights a bit? It might make things a bit more relaxing in here."
12. Show Appreciation
"I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You’ve been such a big part of my life, and I’m so grateful for all the time we’ve had together."
13. Provide Support to Their Loved Ones
"If you need a break or just someone to talk to, I’m here for you too. It’s a hard time for everyone, and we can lean on each other."
These examples bring the 13 ways into natural, caring conversations, offering emotional and physical comfort while showing empathy and respect for the person’s needs. Each conversation focuses on creating an environment of peace and love.
~No traces are ever left behind completely gone,
except the fondest of memories- it fades.~
@chirpbirdee
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