Mindfulness: Managing Expectations

Part 4 of a 10 Part Series

Managing expectations.

Expectations are mere benchmark or indicator of what you are able to do and achieve. It's set deep into an emotional attachment, a believe that you have some kind of ability or control over something.

You are expected to control your anger. When you are in anger, you are never in control of what you are feeling, but you are in control of your actions.

You are expected to be an ideal partner. You should know better because you know what I like. But I don't because what you like changes every 60 seconds.

You are expected to be able to do the job, you've done this before. But I don't because every task requirement is different.

You are expected to.

You know better than this.

Many things in life happens without your control. It happens beyond your comprehension what more control. You can't control other people's emotions, perspective and views. Despite what you think of yourself, you can't expect people to think the same about you.

Forget expectations. Forget controlling what you can't.

Having an expectation is an emotional response. You think highly of a person because they make you feel a certain way. You expect a person to behave badly because they make you feel lousy.

And because expectations is an emotional response, you'll get an emotional response back.

Do you really think that having an expectation is the result of what you know and think about a person from a prior experience? You think- You feel- You Expect.

You think you know, but what if their response is different from usual? You think you know better now?

When you expect something, you are conditioned to receive a certain way, to make you feel a certain way when you receive it, so you are always wanting it the same way, you expect it to be the same all the time. That's exactly what expectations are.

If someone pays for my meal everyday. I would expect them to pay tomorrow and if they don't, would I be upset? Naturally.

Exactly.

Instead of having an expectation of something, refocus by putting something into perspective.

Focus on your why. Understand why you want things done a certain way or to happen a certain way.

That's how you manage expectations.

What if other people's expectation of you is beyond you?

Who cares about other people's expectations- let them decide what they think and feel. Let them manage themselves.

More importantly, how do you feel?

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This is a light- hearted take on life, not an in-depth discussion, and certainly it's not meant to ridicule other people's perspective. I've come out from the deepest end in life and I know what it feels like to be in bad situations.

Read my blog post, where I share my personal story and decide to be my own hero.